Well thank God for that, we’ve finally got babies, women and pictures on our blog! Hi there Obedie! I’m really glad you managed to take a few snapshots of Jim.
Jim, between you and me, you’ve really let yourself go. What were you wearing? You can’t wear spots with cold sores. It’s got to be either one or the other, HIV or no HIV. Otherwise you risk looking like a Seurat. Anyway thank God you two can’t take any pictures of me. I will be turning 30 this year and am starting to be aware of the downside of my marvellous cheekbones – they’re starting to fill up.
Mads, thanks for the tip of brushing up my boys don’t cry. I haven’t listened to it for years but haven’t completely turned my back on my goth past and am actually on a bit of a Siouxie trip at the moment. In fact Sebastian and I went to see Siouxie at the end of last year here in Berlin. She played in Huxley’s Neue Welt which is where Hitler and Goebbels also once ranted on stage in the thirties before being elected. On this occasion, Siouxie, who has herself shown she can look good in Swastikas before, came on stage wearing a bodice, which I thought was a bit too much. I felt like saying to her, love, there’s no need you know, it’s alright we like your music even without the bondage outfits. I mean she is 50.
And aprospos, women turning 50, yes, Madonna can be seen on a poster from our window, also wearing a bodice, sucking on a lolly and looking interchangeable with Paris Hilton. I didn’t want to admit this to you guys on the blog, but I actually saw Madonna this year, but chose not to write about it because I thought it would lower the tone. But then again, if we want to attract advertisers and generate advertising revenue on this page (ha!) then I suppose we’ve got to start name dropping sooner or later. Madonna was in Berlin presenting her new directorial debut (I didn’t see it, I just saw her) and I went along to see her getting flashed at by the press and her fans. We stood on the other side of the street and ended up jostling for space beside a group of Italian teenagers who were singing Like a Virgin in bad accents for an Italian camera crew. I have to admit I am fascinated by Madonna but I don’t think she’s any good and that’s what annoys me about her: that I’m still fascinated by her. Someone should just get it over with and give her a Grammy for having soft power. Have you guys seen her new video? I mean the only good thing about it was the black glacier – at last I can explain to people what being on ketamine is like. Except a bump of ketamine is a lot more fun and no bit less glamorous (except when you throw up your last gin and tonic on the cigarette machine).
Now Jim, that’s great about having your short plays put on. I love the idea of the timid Indian students being given the dirty lines to recite. I bet they loved every second of it. And by the way, I wasn’t telling you the whole truth about the way you look in the photo. Obedie and I skyped last week and we both said how healthy you look. I can’t believe how much weight you’ve put on, you haven’t looked that good for ages.
I have so much to tell you guys but I also have so much work (Jim dear, if my job were 9 to 5 then I wouldn’t be moaning, but sadly it’s more like 9 to 10.) I’m sorry this posting hasn’t been very personal but the media last night must have gone to my head.
I’ll have to pop outside for more coffee. In this neighbourhood if I go to the shop two doors down on the right from my front door, I don’t even need to get out of my jogging pants. But since they’ve finished the renovations on the miniature ‘casino’ on the ground floor in our building, they’ve blacked out the windows by covering them in reflective glass which means if I need to get anything from the shop on the left of our house, I need to put a shirt on or else I feel like a complete slob!
Until these windows went up it was a hoot walking to our front door, because even though they had scaffolding up inside, there was a small A4 sign on the Spielothek’s door saying that despite the renovations they were still open; and you’d see workmen in overalls with paint tins and electricians going about their business with the carpets ripped out and ladders everywhere, back to back with people trying to win the 50 euro jackpot on the flashing roulette wheel and smoking fags at the machines, oblivious to the spring. In fact now the renovations are drawing to a close, they've stopped drilling which means we won't be getting any more complimentary sweeties pushed through our letter box to compensate for all the noise. It's funny, but the chocolate the manageress used to slip us was actually really good. She also gave each resident a gamblers' survival pack of sugar sachets, glucose tablets and a packet of tissues. I'm going to have to pop down there one day and check it out. The women who work there are all dressed like Lufthansa stewardesses and all the men are Turks.
Alright you two, will be in touch again, just need to get through this week’s translations and then I’m going to take time off to reconsider writing again. Lot’s of love to you both, Lance.
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